"So, what did your mum say about it all anyway?"
"Nothing. She was like, pissed. But, it's cool. She'll get over it."
"Your mum's so nice," said Tiff.
Up. Down.
"Yeah, I guess so."
Clara wiped her wet fringe out of her eyes, and reached into her pocket for her phone. Shit. It was already 5. She was meant to take Zulu for a walk. She thought again about Tim, and the whole incident. Him ringing her, asking her out, their night together at Mary Gilhooley's, him feeling her up. That was all she really remembered. She tried to talk to him about it at school yesterday but he just blanked her. Typical.
"Sorry, hon, but I have to go take Zulu for a walk," said Clara.
"Ok."
They dismounted together, and the see-saw rocked after them.
Write On Wednesdays Exercise 24 - This week is a Choose Your Own Adventure week. Look to your left...In my sidebar you will find a list of the WoW writing exercises. Pick a prompt that takes your fancy and make it work for you. Maybe you will work on yourNaNo story or another writing project or perhaps just a bit of creative exploration. You might even like to share your favorite book genre with us and then use the prompt to work on a similar theme.
I love everything about this Zanni - 'Heat bit their bums' made me smile (but at the same time I could feel it:).
ReplyDeleteSuch a typical teenage conversation - you captured it perfectly, brilliant dialogue!
I liked the heat on the bums too! I remember this...Being in the park as a teenager, on swings or slides or see saws but talking and thinking about more "grown up" things. You captured a great little scene. I like the Up. Down bit in the middle of the piece. Simple but effective use of words
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this. I love the mild tension. You've captured the characters at an age where they're trying to make sense of their adult world, against the backdrop of familiar play equipment they're now too old for. Also thought it was great that they were not really on the same level in the interaction - as well as physically see-sawing. :D
ReplyDeleteI really love the simplicity of this piece. The "up, down" phases of the piece goes with the see-saw. Nice work!
ReplyDeleteI can just picture this, feel the haze of the heat and punctuated by the rhythmic rise & fall of the see saw. Love it.
ReplyDeleteGreat piece & description. The rhythm went well with the see saw. Well done.
ReplyDeleteI loved "Up. Down." as well, especially it being an entire paragraph in the middle of the piece. It is so powerful. Also the bit about the seesaw rocking after them as they left. Great scene!
ReplyDelete/ Rain